41 Wednesday Addams Quotes That Are A Mood

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No one does snarky quite like Wednesday Addams does. Her signature black dress and braided pigtails mean nothing without her depressing wit. Here are the best Wednesday Addams quotes.

We can’t wait for the upcoming Tim Burton Wednesday show on Netflix because it sounds and looks amazing. It’s going to follow Wednesday Addams‘ (Jenna Ortega) years as a student when she attempts to master her emerging psychic ability and solve the mystery that embroiled her parents.

Whether you’re a fan of the original TV show, The Addams Family films from the 90s, or the newer animated movies, or you’re counting down the days til the new show, here are some Wednesday words of wisdom.

Wednesday Addams Quotes For Everyday Living

Wednesday Quotes from The Addams Family (1991)

1. “We don’t hug.”

2. “How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. O, from this time forth, my thoughts are bloody or nothing worth it. If I must strike you dead, I will.”

3. “It is getting dark in this little heart of mine.”

4. “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

5. “Are they [the cookies] made from real Girl Scouts?”

Wednesday Quotes from Addams Family Values (1993)

6. “I am not perky.”

7. Morticia: “Wednesday’s at that very special age hen a girl has only one thing on her mind.” Ellen: “Boys?” Wednesday Addams: “Homicide.”

8. “When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die.”

9. “You severely underestimate my apathy.”

10. “You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations—your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadside—you will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation—your people will have stick-shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, ‘Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.’”

11. “And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

12. “Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.”

13. “Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic.”

14. “Bring forward the evil one. You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you plead? Guilty! By her own admission! The sentence is death. Executioner; place her on the block.

15. “If I wanted to kill my husband, I’d do it, and I wouldn’t get caught.”

16. “Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead.”

Wednesday Quotes from The Addams Family (2019)

17. “We’re weakening the gene pool.”

18. “I may not have a… cell-phone, but you don’t have a crossbow, and I thought everybody did.”

19. “Remember, Bethany. I’m not locked here with you, you’re locked in here with me.”

20. “What’s so great about being yourself, when you can be like everyone else?”

21. “No one torments my family but me.”

22. “This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive…”

Wednesday Quotes from The Addams Family 2 (2021)

23. “It’s all Jekyll. No Hyde.”

24. “If you don’t mind, I will respectfully, decline the hug. I’ve been social distancing since birth.”

25. “Have you ever found yourself discontented by those closest to you? Are you irked by their inability to heed simple requests?”

26. “I don’t believe in exercise.”

27. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

28. “Do you ever wish you could take their undesirable qualities and eliminate them forever? It can be done.”

29. “Great thinkers need obstacles to function.”

30. “I’m not a freak, I’m a force of nature.“ 

31. ” You have traumatized me beyond any recognition.”

32. “Aggressive people who use loud noises and fast rides to distract themselves from their childhood trauma. Just what we need.”

33. “Ah… It seems I’ve offended two people at once. How fortuitous.”

34. “I generally find puns to be a lower form of humor.”

Wednesday Quotes from The Addams Family (1964-1966)

35. “You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.”

36. “Nice knife! Can I play autopsy with it?”

37. “A spiders a girl’s best friend.”

38. “Then I can run away and still be around to see them suffer.” 

More Wednesday Addams Quotes

39. “I am not in a bad mood, this is just me.”

40. “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.”

41. “Popularity is fleeting. I prefer to set my sights on something challenging — the establishment.”